After the sibling group of three was no longer an option, we sat back to wait. Profiles came in and out of the inbox and in and out of the online website. When would another group show up? When would a child be in our lives?
We kept our children updated on all status's. After a while, I think they just got tired of hearing about them. Not that they weren't excited or interested, there were just so many. Each one we read had to be a decision to press forward or not.
In the process of deciding, home studies, profiles and your own crazy life, you get to evaluate and re-evaluate your home, your patterns of behavior, your systems (chores, meals, laundry, etc) and the state of your home, your body & your life. This was going to be the first time having a new child and not having my body involved. An interesting scenario. While there is a connection that is made with your unborn child and your new born, there is also a tremendous toll taken on your body. Dad's never experience this, so they're good to go. Lucky guys! But women do and I was interested (still am) about how much this was going to be different.
If your a fan of FLY lady, you'll know her mantra is "Finally Loving Yourself" and that we have house clutter, body clutter, life clutter. In the mix of all our daily life things, we opened a business (Shaved Ice) and when that was done, I went back to work (cafeteria lady). Both were great. The business would be a great solution for the summer job dilemmas our children would face, we'd make enough (hopefully) to pay for some of their college & missions & the cost was relatively low to start up. When the season closed at summers end, the cafeteria job was a great solution to help pay for the loan payment on the business. I'd only work when the kids were in school & only a few hours a day.
But I'm an overachiever and I added more and more to my plate. I was still teaching piano lessons & was a mega volunteer for the local parent/teacher group at the junior high. My days were packed and my life was, too. 3 weeks of this and I was done. I couldn't be super mom and survive. It was time to evaluate what was really important to keep and what had to go.
I liked the job. It was helping cover the loans and the women I worked with were awesome. But I needed to go to substitute status. That was a great solution. I would have time to do my projects & time to work. And being out of the house that much really helped me figure out what was really important at home and what had to go. FLY lady - take over!
I'd spent so much time filling my life and my house with "things" that I was swimming in clutter. My constant activity with the kids was chores. BORING! They hated it. I hated it. Don't get me wrong, they still have chores, but we are getting the rooms cleaned out and the messes are being coming .... less. Less mess, less clutter, less unnecessary clothing, toys, books, games, craft supplies, garage supplies, food we weren't eating (a recipe called for capers & I couldn't make it, so I held onto the jar for far too long. It had to go cause I wasn't going to be using capers in anything). My pantry was shaping into foods we'd actually eat, my menus were coming together, meal times were better, chore times were better. It was just getting better.
But the best thing that came out of all this dumping- EBC! Extra Brain Capacity! It was awesome! I started focusing on my boundaries and what I would allow in my life and what I wouldn't. The toddler books and games got boxed up for a "just in case we get a toddler". The mass amount of clothes in my teenage girls room was boxed up for a younger cousin. The books that were torn in half, but still kept getting shelved, gone. The decor that the previous owners had left that I'd spent the last 4 years trying to make work with my decor (and not succeeding) - gone. Four 30 gallon trash bags full from the Den alone!
And I'm not done going through the house. This week, the boys room is getting attacked. Two weeks ago it was the girls. Many people go through this process, and some (lucky!) never have to deal with clutter. I come from a long line of "keep it, we might need that some day." And yes, there are things that I totally need and use! It's cool. But there are SO many more things that have to go.
In the process of waiting, I've gotten the wonderful chance to dump my clutter. It's still going. I read it takes a professional organizer 12 - 15 hours per room to get it into shape. And that's a pro! So I give myself time to get it all together. And I'm loving the EBC that comes with it. I'm becoming a better mom and wife and I'm learning how to say no to the things that really don't matter.
I've needed this time to get ready. To prepare. And Heavenly Father knew I needed this time. Because He knew we'd get an email that would change our summer.
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