It took me a month or so to start looking online again. I'd glance at the profiles I'd seen a hundred times and think 'nope, that's not my kid(s)'. A new sibling group would come online or a new child and I'd open their profiles with anticipation. But after you've read hundreds of profiles, you start learning to read between the lines. Some of these kids would have fit easily into our home. Others wouldn't.
But none felt right.
In Mid-October, I opened the website and the first sibling group on there was new. And they were young. And I was scared. :/ I requested their info and less than 24 hours later received it. Here's what I got....
J, S, M & G were taken from their home two years ago. They have an older brother (an 8 yo) who's already been adopted before they were born. J is 6. He's 6 months younger than my youngest. S is 4 and the only girl in the group. There was a specific request put in the paperwork that if the family wanted this group, they needed to know for sure that this family wanted a girl, too. M & G are tow year old twins (3 in December). They have lived in the hospital at birth and their foster home since. Biological mom and dad were never in the picture.
Other pluses - only 1 foster home. And these foster parents specifically requested to be a "support" role or like a grandparent for these children - so we know that the foster parents don't want to adopt them. Along those lines, they haven't been bounced around between different sets of parents.
I could go on and on about these kids, but that's not the point of this blog. The points are these: My daughter is willing to share her bedroom with S. A huge deal considering my daughter has had a room to herself most of her life and her and S would be 9 years apart. Another point - my oldest son has not liked a single choice we've made since starting. He's felt (strongly) that he needs a playmate his age, or an older brother. He hasn't wanted another sister, either. With this group, however, he's completely and unconditionally accepted them. Without question. No complaints, no problems. Huh. My youngest son has wanted a playmate. With this group he'd practically have a twin. He's thrilled that he'll have someone to play with since his older brothers currently leave him out of many activities. Our middle son.....hmmm, that quote that goes something like "A man is an island." Yea, that's him. He likes to do his own thing. I wouldn't call it selfish, just self directed. His younger brother has been so independent, that he's never had to play a strong "big brother" role. Now he's talking about being helpful and 'when the new kids come I'll.....' and has emotionally step up. It's been incredible. Then there's Scott, who along this journey has really relied on me to make most of the calls. He made the call on these guys first. Not me, him.
So now, I have everyone in my family supporting the decision to request these kiddos and I'm.......freaking out! :) It's suddenly real. It's not a fantasy or an excitement you feel right before opening Christmas presents. It's freaking me out. 8 kids! What the bleep! 8!! How am I going to do the laundry different? Where can I get a bigger table, or get the missing leaf for the table I have? I'll need more chairs. I'll have to baby proof for real. Oh, no...the car! It only seats 8 (including driver), not 10. I couldn't even haul all the kids in it, much less the whole family. What other cars are there? What about church? We'd take up the entire pew! And would they be reverent? What about school? These little guys are still at home and have some special needs to be considered. Of course I have all the pre-school curriculum still, but where am I going to put it? How is my daily schedule going to run? How am I going to run?!!!? And how on earth am I going to be able to tell them about having 3 mothers?
I took this one to the Lord, in the temple. Father, how am I going to tell these 4 beautiful spirits that they had three mothers, when they can't understand why they aren't with their first or second. The answer?.....write a book about it. I've started that book. It's in the works. And whether it's self published, just to help these kiddos understand, or sent around the world to help others, I'm good.
And then, after all the questions (and they keep coming) there came the peace. A sweet all encompassing peace. It was going to be ok. Sure there were going to be crazy hectic manic days, but it was the right thing to do. These kids are young like the previous group we'd requested, but there were additional bonuses. I'd always wanted twins. Always. Now, I was practically getting 2 sets. I really wanted another girl. C is so incredibly independent, that I've always wanted a little girl that would let me do her hair and would cuddle with me. C will have fun dressing her up, that's for sure!
Now, this is something small, but large in spectrum. All of kids have biblical names. I'd never really planned it that way, but after is just started happening, I realized how great it was going to be. When my kids were struggling, I could go to the scriptures and point to their namesakes and show them how these great men and women over came great trials and how much faith they had. It's become something I cherished. In the back of my mind, I knew I'd have to re-evaluate this naming/scripture process when we got kids that didn't have biblical names. I knew I'd have to take a different approach to it and I was prepared and ready to do it. But these 4 kiddos (and their already adopted older brother) all have biblical names. Strong names. Good names that have righteous examples written down in a timeless book for them (and me) to draw strength and faith from. Another example of Heavenly Father smiling down on me.
Do we know yet if these kids will be ours? No. Not yet. Do we hope for it? Yes, but this time I'm a little more level headed about it. If it's not these kids, then it'll be another child or group. I know what I've felt. I know that I am a mother and that just because my body wouldn't survive another birth doesn't mean I won't have more children.
There is hope. And we've promised to comfort those that stand in need of comfort and cloth the naked and care for the poor, widows and orphans, or those with really sucky biological parents. We promised to do that. And we will. For now we wait. We plan Christmas and camping trips and next summers vacation and baseball and track and theatre. And I continue to get my house in order and my life and maybe continue to look into going back to school for my Masters. We'll see. :)
*******The above entry was written in late fall 2012. On Christmas eve (2012) we received a letter that these 4 kids were going to a different family, a family with no children in the home. We were sad, but kept it in perspective. Since then, things have been utterly turned upside down. - more on that later. :)*********
Thursday, June 6, 2013
The on purpose accidental survivalist
I've always thought I'd make a good pioneer. I've stored food, I can garden, I love camping & "roughing it." I could survive if I had to. Until this week. When the well pump stopped working. And we had no water for 72 hours.
But you have a pool - with 30,000 gallons of water. Whats the big deal? Lugging buckets to the toilets to flush is one thing. Inconvenient only. But the pool water is chemicaled to death to keep the water clean enough to swim in. This chemically charged water would bleach out my clothes, so I can't use it for washing. It would kill every single plant in my garden, so I can't use it for that. I could boil it and possibly wash my dishes in it, but I'm not so sure I would. I definitely would NOT drink it or use it in cooking. I could use it to clean tables, counters, walls, floors, etc. but everything would smell like bleach. I wouldn't use it to shower in for long because my skin get really dried out from the chemicals, so showering usage needs a different option. AND this is all banking that I have no household water in the summer, as the pool would be Frozen in the winter. AND that I have electricity to keep the water flowing in the pool so it'll stay "clean". AND banking on all the pool equipment working. That's a lot of 'if's'.
Suffice it to say - I need better water storage! So, we'll still have the pool water as back up, but now we're going to use the gutters to help collect rain water for the yard and garden. We'll get large storage water for washing, cooking and cleaning and smaller containers for drinking. Oh and when they say you'll need a gallon drinking water and a gallon "other" water per person per day, they were calculating on the extreme scale. Reality - you need a gallon for drinking, a gallon for cooking, a gallon for washing/cleaning, a gallon for sponge baths (more if you have really long hair), and a gallon for misc. About 5 gallons/person/day. You can get by with less IF it rains AND you can collect the rain water. IF.
Other things I learned this week. My kids will have no more than 3 outfits. 1 for church and 2 for everyday. And they will wear them will they're grimy. Because hand washing laundry is the pits and less is more.
We used more paper towels than I thought possible. Because I didn't want to waist the precious little water I had on wiping up a spill. Use a paper towel instead. I went through a roll a day. I need to store more paper towels.
A generator will help with electricity, but when you have no water because the pump is broken, your just out of luck.
It's easy to forget about the little things because they're little. Until you have no water. "Mom I can't make pancakes, we have no water. - Oh, use a water bottle." "Mom the dog/cat are out of water. - Crap, use another water bottle." Those water bottle become a high commodity! And then the awful thought comes into your head - hmmm maybe we don't need the dog/cat/gerbil/Pet! Then you feel guilty for thinking that your kids pet is expendable on some level and thank goodness the well repairmen are in the front yard right now!
When you have to boil water to wash the dishes, you rely on a tiny bit of bleach to sanitize the final rinse. I'm going to have to store more bleach. I'm not a germ-a-phobic, but I just saw what kind of water that dish just came out of and I at least want to know that the bleach it helping me out on some level.
Bottom line - store more water than you think you'll need. Utilize nature and don't rely on the use of your pool. Store more paper towels & bleach and use less clothing. And thank Heavenly Father you live in the convince of this century and your not a pioneer!
But you have a pool - with 30,000 gallons of water. Whats the big deal? Lugging buckets to the toilets to flush is one thing. Inconvenient only. But the pool water is chemicaled to death to keep the water clean enough to swim in. This chemically charged water would bleach out my clothes, so I can't use it for washing. It would kill every single plant in my garden, so I can't use it for that. I could boil it and possibly wash my dishes in it, but I'm not so sure I would. I definitely would NOT drink it or use it in cooking. I could use it to clean tables, counters, walls, floors, etc. but everything would smell like bleach. I wouldn't use it to shower in for long because my skin get really dried out from the chemicals, so showering usage needs a different option. AND this is all banking that I have no household water in the summer, as the pool would be Frozen in the winter. AND that I have electricity to keep the water flowing in the pool so it'll stay "clean". AND banking on all the pool equipment working. That's a lot of 'if's'.
Suffice it to say - I need better water storage! So, we'll still have the pool water as back up, but now we're going to use the gutters to help collect rain water for the yard and garden. We'll get large storage water for washing, cooking and cleaning and smaller containers for drinking. Oh and when they say you'll need a gallon drinking water and a gallon "other" water per person per day, they were calculating on the extreme scale. Reality - you need a gallon for drinking, a gallon for cooking, a gallon for washing/cleaning, a gallon for sponge baths (more if you have really long hair), and a gallon for misc. About 5 gallons/person/day. You can get by with less IF it rains AND you can collect the rain water. IF.
Other things I learned this week. My kids will have no more than 3 outfits. 1 for church and 2 for everyday. And they will wear them will they're grimy. Because hand washing laundry is the pits and less is more.
We used more paper towels than I thought possible. Because I didn't want to waist the precious little water I had on wiping up a spill. Use a paper towel instead. I went through a roll a day. I need to store more paper towels.
A generator will help with electricity, but when you have no water because the pump is broken, your just out of luck.
It's easy to forget about the little things because they're little. Until you have no water. "Mom I can't make pancakes, we have no water. - Oh, use a water bottle." "Mom the dog/cat are out of water. - Crap, use another water bottle." Those water bottle become a high commodity! And then the awful thought comes into your head - hmmm maybe we don't need the dog/cat/gerbil/Pet! Then you feel guilty for thinking that your kids pet is expendable on some level and thank goodness the well repairmen are in the front yard right now!
When you have to boil water to wash the dishes, you rely on a tiny bit of bleach to sanitize the final rinse. I'm going to have to store more bleach. I'm not a germ-a-phobic, but I just saw what kind of water that dish just came out of and I at least want to know that the bleach it helping me out on some level.
Bottom line - store more water than you think you'll need. Utilize nature and don't rely on the use of your pool. Store more paper towels & bleach and use less clothing. And thank Heavenly Father you live in the convince of this century and your not a pioneer!
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