Yes, yes, the title says it all - Match Events. And yes, it is what you are thinking. :D But it's all good!
Basically, the SNAP specialists (there are 7 or 8 in Indiana) organize match events every few months. A match event is where prospective parents (parents only - no kids from home) get together with kids ages 10 and up who are free for adoption and they play games for a few hours. It gives everyone a chance to get to know each other.
When we first heard about these events, we thought we didn't need to go. We had the online kids that we were looking at, emails that came in from our specialist and a list of kids that we wanted to adopt. Why go meet kids we weren't looking at? Then our specialist said the magic words - it's not always about meeting the kids. It's also for meeting the specialists (adoption advocates, SNAP specialists, case managers, etc.) and other parents. The purpose was to network.
December 2012 was the first one we decided to go to. It was in Ft. Wayne (only an hour away - instead of 3 hours away like some of the others) and it was on a Saturday (instead of a weekday). We had NO clue what to expect. We weren't even sure we really wanted to go. But we'd said yes, and we wanted to show our specialist that we could keep our commitments.
They held the event in a Nature Center. It was a cool place. We could chat some with the kids while looking at the displays, but the activities were directed in one big room. All the parents were gathered in (about 30 of us - All at our first match event) and given a "briefing." We were told to have fun playing with the kids and to NOT talk about adoption. Then they brought in the kids - there were 10 of them ranging in age from 9 to "18". (I'll explain the "" later.)
The first activity was a mixer game. A box was passed around while music played. When the music stopped, whoever was holding the box had to draw out a paper and do what it said. Most things were questions - favorite TV show, type of music, something unique about yourself. Other questions were harder - name all 12 days of Christmas in order, sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" while doing jumping jacks, etc. It got the group laughing and clapping and got some of the nerves out.
Next up was a Ginger Bread house relay. The kids were divided first, then the parents were divided gym style (1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.) Scott and I were on different teams, which made getting to know the kids easier actually. I was paired up with a 14 yo boy and another dad and Scott has an 18 yo boy and another mom. We talked and built and decorated and ate and laughed. It was a fun!
Then all the kids were moved over to tables set up with canvases and paints. Parents were to help or talk to the kids while they painted a picture. Some kids really got into it. Others didn't really know what to do. I sat down with a different 14 yo boy and Scott sat with a 13 yo boy. (There were a lot of boys at the event - actually there were only 3 girls). We chatted and painted and chatted some more. Most of the parents kind of stuck to one table and talked amongst themselves and with the kids. It was great getting to know some of these parents.
The kiddo I was sitting across from mentioned 3 times how badly he wanted to be adopted. 3 times! Now, two thoughts run through your mind: #1 That's so sad - I'll take you! #2 - You are totally playing me kid! I took it with a grain of salt. I knew he wanted to be adopted. I also knew he really didn't know the full extent of what that meant. All of us have dreams of what we want. Sometimes the reality doesn't always add up to our expectations.
When we were finished painting, we ate lunch. I walked through the line with a 9 yo girl who talked a mile a minute. What a chatter box! As we waited, I asked her what types of things she like - TV shows, movies, toys. We started talking about movies - Barbie movies. I asked her her fav and she said "The mermaid one." I said, "Mermaidia?" Her eyes got big, "Yeah!" "Yeah, I like that one to, but there are others I like better." Then I rattled off the list of Barbie movies we owned. If you've never gotten to see one, I'd start with Rapunzel and go from there. They really are good movies. This little gal was shocked that I had all the movies -(really helps to have a daughter who was into them!) It was funny to see this girls face! She started jumping up and down and talking even faster.
We ate lunch with her and another 14yo boy. He didn't talk much and we found out that his favorite activity was bored games. Cool!
Pictionary was last. The kids mainly got to draw, with us guessing what Christmas song they were drawing. It was an easy game with everyone winning. Scott and I both got to chat with most of the kids in the room and a lot of the parents.
When the activities were over, we sat with another couple and were able to ask our SNAP specialist questions. And boy was that informative!! We'd been looking at online profiles for years. And these profiles end up in their "picture books" that are sent to prospective parents. There are around 100 online profiles - give or take. (There are over 9,000 in the foster system in Indiana alone!) What the flip people - get you lives together! That's too many children in the system. We got to talk to another couple and an adoption specialist, too.
The event overall was a positive one. I'd go again. It REALLY helped to meet these kids and talk to them. Oh, I almost forgot....the "18" year old who made a ginger bread house with Scott talked and talked about sports and his favorite subject was math, and his was in ROTC and was going to graduate and join the military and on and on and on and on. We watched him for the rest of the event, debating how much of what he said was true. THEN we went home and read his online profile. 18.....nope - he's 16, a sophomore and while he loves sports, isn't as well rounded as he claimed to be. So yes, we got the "standard-answer-that-all-prospective-parents-want-to-hear" responses to our questions. We also got some "shock value" as well - like the kid who said he'd punched his mom on Christmas because he was so excited about his present. uh huh. Sure you did. Well, maybe you did. :/ Or the kid who said he wanted to grow up and be a "contract killer". What the....?!?! But overall - it was a good experience!
So - networking is good. Meeting kids is good. Getting a better idea of what your up against is great. Go for it. You'll have fun! And remember - take every word our of their mouths with a grain of salt - and a little spice thrown in for good measure. ;)
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