Adoption Journey Part 1 - Deciding to Start

I need to document my journey for me.  I thought others might like to know the process we've gone through as well.  Each family has different stories, different children, different lives.  This is our journey.  Enjoy. :)

When Scott and I were dating, one of the questions we asked each other was "Are you willing to adopt?"  Each of us said yes.  We married and almost 2 years later, baby girl came along.  Almost 3 years later (miscarriage in here, too), baby boy followed.  Two more years, baby boy 2 and two more years baby boy 3.  When baby boy 3 was 18 months old, I realized that we weren't pregnant.  It was strange hitting that mark.  I'd been pregnant or thinking about pregnancy for so long that having an 18 month old and not being pregnant was strange.  But I was overwhelmed with the 4 I had.  We'd moved away from family and had managed to survive a New York winter - all 6 months of it.  So we decided to pray about getting pregnant.  Heavenly Father would know if it was the right time for us and if I could handle another pregnancy.  Because baby 4 had been the most difficult pregnancy.  I was sick the entire time and the labor was awful and my doctor was less than helpful.  Did I really want to get pregnant again?  Would my body survive?  The answers to our prayers were "not right now."  I was a little relieved, but sad, too. Would I ever give birth again?  A part of me then and now wants to have a better 'last child' labor story.  A part of me wonders if I'll survive.  So now what?  The next question presented to the Lord, was "Do we adopt?"  Again, "Not right now."

So we dug in and focused on raising the four children we had.  Not an easy task, but we seemed to manage through a move back to Texas, then a year later a move to Indiana.   All this time, we continued to pray about adoption and whether it was right the right time for us.  Also during this time, we decided that my body shouldn't go through another pregnancy.  I'm a highly independent women and Scott is a wonderfully easy going man.  If he's worried about me being pregnant again, then pregnancy really isn't an option.  We're grateful that we have that 'option' as many many couples don't.  We ache for them and pray for them.

Once we were settled in Indiana, I googled 'Indiana adoptions' and the state website was at the top of the list.  So I started looking around.  When you start seeing pictures, your heart starts to yearn to help them.  I researched what needed to be done, but didn't do anything.  For 2 years, on and off, I'd look at the almost 100 children listed on the state website that were legally ready and waiting for adoption.  I'd rejoice as a child disappeared, knowing that they'd found a home!  It would make me sad, when month after month after month the same children were still on there.  It was heartbreaking to watch the older ones age out. Would they ever find a forever family?  One of my best friends in high school didn't find her forever family til she was in college.  I have hope for these children that they will find a home to call home.  Maybe one day with us.  Maybe. :)

The Chicago Temple is our closest temple (currently).  Since Scott and I don't know anyone in Chicago to watch our kids and we didn't want to leave them with a sitter in Warsaw, we brought them along and traded time in the temple.  I decided to do sealings that day and was sitting in a beautiful room waiting for another couple to finish before I joined them.  I received some very poignant and very beautiful revelation that day.   After my time in the Temple,  I knew it was time to adopt.

Shortly after, we were at home watching the April 2011 General Conference and talk after talk after talk was about welfare, family, sealings, Christ and eternity.  The feelings I'd had in the temple were magnified.  "Scott, it's time to pray about adoption."

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2011/04?lang=eng

 It's not uncommon for one spouse to be more onboard than the other.  Where my answers were very strong, his were a little more luke warm.  But he agreed to start the process (and no I didn't badger him to do it.  This is eternity we're talking about.  If my eternal companion isn't onboard, we're sunk.)

We looked at the profiles of children on the state website and picked two that looked like they could be part of our family.  One was a girl born in Russia that had had a terrible life in the states and needed a forever family.  She was 18 and would graduate out of the system as soon as she graduated from high school in May 2011.  Our time was short if we were going to have her in our home.  The other was a 14 year old young man who was a great kid!  He'd just been dealt a terrible hand.

We requested information on both children and our journey began.





http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/sacrifice?lang=eng&query=adopt