Today is one of my brothers birthdays. He is the bomb! (They both are!) He is a caring person who loves his family greatly. He's struggled with things in life, but you can see him pressing forward, striving to be a better man. He loves his wife (me, too!!) and she loves him and they have a solid marriage. While there have been ups and downs, they are a team. And you can tell. He loves his kids and you can definitely tell when daddy is home! He has a passion for his pursuits and it's contagious. I just love him!! Happy Birthday tall little brother!
Once upon a time, a girl got her wish and a little brother was born.
She dressed him up - in dresses of course - and showed him how to roller skate.
Later she taught him how to dance. Then he went off to school and came back and taught her how to dance.
They fought - as good siblings do - but they had each others back. They could talk bad about each other, but no one else could.
When the girl and her brother grew up, they grew apart. Distance took them into new worlds and new ways.
But life has a way of creating good things. They moved closer, spent holidays together and learned how to play.
Today they are still separated by distance, but not by love. Love is there to stay.
Not the end. ;)
Monday, January 4, 2016
Jan 3 - End of Vacation
It's the end of the Holiday season and it's time to go back to reality. And for the first time in a long long time, I'm less stressed and more at peace. While I'm not setting resolutions this year, I didn't have some quiet time while the kids were with their dad to contemplate things I wanted to do this year, books I wanted to read….and write, ways I could have my house functioning better, etc. So I have little mini plans and that makes the end of a great season doable. Because, lets be honest. If you don't have family around, the holidays can be depressing. Once all the family leaves, depressing. Not getting the gift you wanted, depressing. Not getting any gift - REALLY depressing. Eating til you can't walk, then swimming in the "guilt" of it - depressing. PS - DON'T!! Don't guilt about your eating. Did you enjoy it?! I did!! And there is no guilt! So no getting depressed about it.
So we have all these things that can make us depressed over the holidays. In come resolutions to save the day - because not many of us want to swim around in misery forever. So whether you have resolute things you are going to change in your life, or small ways to help your house function better, Happiest of New Years.
Alisha
So we have all these things that can make us depressed over the holidays. In come resolutions to save the day - because not many of us want to swim around in misery forever. So whether you have resolute things you are going to change in your life, or small ways to help your house function better, Happiest of New Years.
Alisha
Jan 2 - Resolutions
I used to be a huge fan of resolutions, with my list comprising something in every aspect of my life. And like so many others, every year would bring little mini disappointments when most of them dropped off my radar and didn't get done. Although it was one here and one there, I never realized how much it was effecting my self esteem. I was such a "failure" and this year was going to be The year, etc. etc. When things started to click, I decided to curve my resolutions towards things I was already doing. I was going to continue to do this or that. It worked, but I wasn't pressing forward as much. And that brought its own "failures" along with it.
Now, I'm a happier, healthier person and I DON'T set resolutions. Because I like who I am (even if I have to repeatedly tell myself that over and over and over). And I like the direction my life is headed. And I'm content. I'm moving forward, but not stressing about it and I'm not beating myself esteem to a pulp with my believed failures. Because they weren't failures. They were ways to learn and grow.
Now, I'm a happier, healthier person and I DON'T set resolutions. Because I like who I am (even if I have to repeatedly tell myself that over and over and over). And I like the direction my life is headed. And I'm content. I'm moving forward, but not stressing about it and I'm not beating myself esteem to a pulp with my believed failures. Because they weren't failures. They were ways to learn and grow.
Friday, January 1, 2016
My first 365 project - A page a day
For the first time in my life, I'm doing a 365 project - a page a day. So I will be writing here on this blog for my page a days. Some posts will be book related, some will be journaling & some will be gibberish to get in that page. Plus, in a blog format, I can write anywhere at anytime - as long as I have wifi!
So Happy New Years! Here's the first children's book I've written. I'm still working on illustrations.
Piper & Jackson and The Loose Tooth
by Alisha Clayson
So Happy New Years! Here's the first children's book I've written. I'm still working on illustrations.
Piper & Jackson and The Loose Tooth
by Alisha Clayson
Mama says my tooth needs to come out soon. It’s been wigglin for days. Mama says that when this tooth comes out, I can put it under my pillow and the tooth fairy will leave me a surprise. I’m not so sure about that, cause the tooth fairy lives in the next town. How’s she know my tooth’s comin out? But Mama says.
Jackson thinks he should help me pull it out. Just cause he’s older than me by 15 minutes doesn’t make him the boss. He thinks that I should let him tie a string around my tooth and then tie the other end around a door and slam the door shut. Does he think I’m crazy?
Daddy says to let him just pull it out; with his fingers! He wants to just reach in and pull it out. I don’t want his fingers in my mouth. In fact, I don’t want anything in my mouth.
Everyone says my tooth needs to come out. But I like it. It’s my tooth. I don’t want the tooth fairy to have it. I don’t want Mama or Daddy to help. I definitely don’t want Jackson to help. I think I’ll just go to bed and not worry about it right now.
This morning, when I woke up, my tooth was really loose. I went the bathroom and looked at my tooth in the mirror. It sure did wiggle a bunch. In fact, it wiggled so much, it wiggled right out of my mouth and down the drain of the sink. Hm. Guess nobody will be gettin my tooth now.
Daddy tried to get the tooth out of the drain, but it slipped further down. Mama says that the tooth fairy will still leave me a surprise. Jackson said it might not be a good one, cause there’s no tooth to put under the pillow. He just laughed and laughed. He called me ‘Snaggle-tooth.’ What ever that means. (picture of her thinking about a saber-tooth tiger)
I was sad the whole day. I didn’t want to lose my tooth. It was mine. But now the drain has it. I wonder if I can get it back. Maybe I can use Daddy’s tools. After all, my hands are smaller than his.
(Illustrations)
(1. Her head disappears in the box of tools, 2. oversized wrench in hand trying to take off sink pipe, 3. water spraying out of sink all over the bathroom, 4. Mama standing there with hands on hips and frowning and Piper trying to hide wrench behind back)
Mama says that naughty little girls get to go to their rooms for the rest of the day. I didn’t mean to blow water all over the bathroom. I just wanted my tooth back. But Mama says.
All this trouble for a little ‘ol tooth. I know teeth are for eatin and smilin, but I don’t see why they have to fall out. Jackson says we need big teeth to eat bigger things and smile bigger. I kindof like being small. I fell asleep while I was waitin for Mama to tell me I could get out of time out.
When I woke up, there was somethin hard under my pillow. It was a small mirror; the prettiest mirror I’d ever seen. On the handle was a tiny note that said:
“Piper, I found your tooth in a drain. I put it with all the others. I hope you enjoy the mirror. You can practice your pretty little smile. - Love, the Tooth fairy”
Maybe losin’ a tooth ain’t so bad.
The End
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Adoption Journey- Part 10 - Hope, A Promise and Waiting
It took me a month or so to start looking online again. I'd glance at the profiles I'd seen a hundred times and think 'nope, that's not my kid(s)'. A new sibling group would come online or a new child and I'd open their profiles with anticipation. But after you've read hundreds of profiles, you start learning to read between the lines. Some of these kids would have fit easily into our home. Others wouldn't.
But none felt right.
In Mid-October, I opened the website and the first sibling group on there was new. And they were young. And I was scared. :/ I requested their info and less than 24 hours later received it. Here's what I got....
J, S, M & G were taken from their home two years ago. They have an older brother (an 8 yo) who's already been adopted before they were born. J is 6. He's 6 months younger than my youngest. S is 4 and the only girl in the group. There was a specific request put in the paperwork that if the family wanted this group, they needed to know for sure that this family wanted a girl, too. M & G are tow year old twins (3 in December). They have lived in the hospital at birth and their foster home since. Biological mom and dad were never in the picture.
Other pluses - only 1 foster home. And these foster parents specifically requested to be a "support" role or like a grandparent for these children - so we know that the foster parents don't want to adopt them. Along those lines, they haven't been bounced around between different sets of parents.
I could go on and on about these kids, but that's not the point of this blog. The points are these: My daughter is willing to share her bedroom with S. A huge deal considering my daughter has had a room to herself most of her life and her and S would be 9 years apart. Another point - my oldest son has not liked a single choice we've made since starting. He's felt (strongly) that he needs a playmate his age, or an older brother. He hasn't wanted another sister, either. With this group, however, he's completely and unconditionally accepted them. Without question. No complaints, no problems. Huh. My youngest son has wanted a playmate. With this group he'd practically have a twin. He's thrilled that he'll have someone to play with since his older brothers currently leave him out of many activities. Our middle son.....hmmm, that quote that goes something like "A man is an island." Yea, that's him. He likes to do his own thing. I wouldn't call it selfish, just self directed. His younger brother has been so independent, that he's never had to play a strong "big brother" role. Now he's talking about being helpful and 'when the new kids come I'll.....' and has emotionally step up. It's been incredible. Then there's Scott, who along this journey has really relied on me to make most of the calls. He made the call on these guys first. Not me, him.
So now, I have everyone in my family supporting the decision to request these kiddos and I'm.......freaking out! :) It's suddenly real. It's not a fantasy or an excitement you feel right before opening Christmas presents. It's freaking me out. 8 kids! What the bleep! 8!! How am I going to do the laundry different? Where can I get a bigger table, or get the missing leaf for the table I have? I'll need more chairs. I'll have to baby proof for real. Oh, no...the car! It only seats 8 (including driver), not 10. I couldn't even haul all the kids in it, much less the whole family. What other cars are there? What about church? We'd take up the entire pew! And would they be reverent? What about school? These little guys are still at home and have some special needs to be considered. Of course I have all the pre-school curriculum still, but where am I going to put it? How is my daily schedule going to run? How am I going to run?!!!? And how on earth am I going to be able to tell them about having 3 mothers?
I took this one to the Lord, in the temple. Father, how am I going to tell these 4 beautiful spirits that they had three mothers, when they can't understand why they aren't with their first or second. The answer?.....write a book about it. I've started that book. It's in the works. And whether it's self published, just to help these kiddos understand, or sent around the world to help others, I'm good.
And then, after all the questions (and they keep coming) there came the peace. A sweet all encompassing peace. It was going to be ok. Sure there were going to be crazy hectic manic days, but it was the right thing to do. These kids are young like the previous group we'd requested, but there were additional bonuses. I'd always wanted twins. Always. Now, I was practically getting 2 sets. I really wanted another girl. C is so incredibly independent, that I've always wanted a little girl that would let me do her hair and would cuddle with me. C will have fun dressing her up, that's for sure!
Now, this is something small, but large in spectrum. All of kids have biblical names. I'd never really planned it that way, but after is just started happening, I realized how great it was going to be. When my kids were struggling, I could go to the scriptures and point to their namesakes and show them how these great men and women over came great trials and how much faith they had. It's become something I cherished. In the back of my mind, I knew I'd have to re-evaluate this naming/scripture process when we got kids that didn't have biblical names. I knew I'd have to take a different approach to it and I was prepared and ready to do it. But these 4 kiddos (and their already adopted older brother) all have biblical names. Strong names. Good names that have righteous examples written down in a timeless book for them (and me) to draw strength and faith from. Another example of Heavenly Father smiling down on me.
Do we know yet if these kids will be ours? No. Not yet. Do we hope for it? Yes, but this time I'm a little more level headed about it. If it's not these kids, then it'll be another child or group. I know what I've felt. I know that I am a mother and that just because my body wouldn't survive another birth doesn't mean I won't have more children.
There is hope. And we've promised to comfort those that stand in need of comfort and cloth the naked and care for the poor, widows and orphans, or those with really sucky biological parents. We promised to do that. And we will. For now we wait. We plan Christmas and camping trips and next summers vacation and baseball and track and theatre. And I continue to get my house in order and my life and maybe continue to look into going back to school for my Masters. We'll see. :)
*******The above entry was written in late fall 2012. On Christmas eve (2012) we received a letter that these 4 kids were going to a different family, a family with no children in the home. We were sad, but kept it in perspective. Since then, things have been utterly turned upside down. - more on that later. :)*********
But none felt right.
In Mid-October, I opened the website and the first sibling group on there was new. And they were young. And I was scared. :/ I requested their info and less than 24 hours later received it. Here's what I got....
J, S, M & G were taken from their home two years ago. They have an older brother (an 8 yo) who's already been adopted before they were born. J is 6. He's 6 months younger than my youngest. S is 4 and the only girl in the group. There was a specific request put in the paperwork that if the family wanted this group, they needed to know for sure that this family wanted a girl, too. M & G are tow year old twins (3 in December). They have lived in the hospital at birth and their foster home since. Biological mom and dad were never in the picture.
Other pluses - only 1 foster home. And these foster parents specifically requested to be a "support" role or like a grandparent for these children - so we know that the foster parents don't want to adopt them. Along those lines, they haven't been bounced around between different sets of parents.
I could go on and on about these kids, but that's not the point of this blog. The points are these: My daughter is willing to share her bedroom with S. A huge deal considering my daughter has had a room to herself most of her life and her and S would be 9 years apart. Another point - my oldest son has not liked a single choice we've made since starting. He's felt (strongly) that he needs a playmate his age, or an older brother. He hasn't wanted another sister, either. With this group, however, he's completely and unconditionally accepted them. Without question. No complaints, no problems. Huh. My youngest son has wanted a playmate. With this group he'd practically have a twin. He's thrilled that he'll have someone to play with since his older brothers currently leave him out of many activities. Our middle son.....hmmm, that quote that goes something like "A man is an island." Yea, that's him. He likes to do his own thing. I wouldn't call it selfish, just self directed. His younger brother has been so independent, that he's never had to play a strong "big brother" role. Now he's talking about being helpful and 'when the new kids come I'll.....' and has emotionally step up. It's been incredible. Then there's Scott, who along this journey has really relied on me to make most of the calls. He made the call on these guys first. Not me, him.
So now, I have everyone in my family supporting the decision to request these kiddos and I'm.......freaking out! :) It's suddenly real. It's not a fantasy or an excitement you feel right before opening Christmas presents. It's freaking me out. 8 kids! What the bleep! 8!! How am I going to do the laundry different? Where can I get a bigger table, or get the missing leaf for the table I have? I'll need more chairs. I'll have to baby proof for real. Oh, no...the car! It only seats 8 (including driver), not 10. I couldn't even haul all the kids in it, much less the whole family. What other cars are there? What about church? We'd take up the entire pew! And would they be reverent? What about school? These little guys are still at home and have some special needs to be considered. Of course I have all the pre-school curriculum still, but where am I going to put it? How is my daily schedule going to run? How am I going to run?!!!? And how on earth am I going to be able to tell them about having 3 mothers?
I took this one to the Lord, in the temple. Father, how am I going to tell these 4 beautiful spirits that they had three mothers, when they can't understand why they aren't with their first or second. The answer?.....write a book about it. I've started that book. It's in the works. And whether it's self published, just to help these kiddos understand, or sent around the world to help others, I'm good.
And then, after all the questions (and they keep coming) there came the peace. A sweet all encompassing peace. It was going to be ok. Sure there were going to be crazy hectic manic days, but it was the right thing to do. These kids are young like the previous group we'd requested, but there were additional bonuses. I'd always wanted twins. Always. Now, I was practically getting 2 sets. I really wanted another girl. C is so incredibly independent, that I've always wanted a little girl that would let me do her hair and would cuddle with me. C will have fun dressing her up, that's for sure!
Now, this is something small, but large in spectrum. All of kids have biblical names. I'd never really planned it that way, but after is just started happening, I realized how great it was going to be. When my kids were struggling, I could go to the scriptures and point to their namesakes and show them how these great men and women over came great trials and how much faith they had. It's become something I cherished. In the back of my mind, I knew I'd have to re-evaluate this naming/scripture process when we got kids that didn't have biblical names. I knew I'd have to take a different approach to it and I was prepared and ready to do it. But these 4 kiddos (and their already adopted older brother) all have biblical names. Strong names. Good names that have righteous examples written down in a timeless book for them (and me) to draw strength and faith from. Another example of Heavenly Father smiling down on me.
Do we know yet if these kids will be ours? No. Not yet. Do we hope for it? Yes, but this time I'm a little more level headed about it. If it's not these kids, then it'll be another child or group. I know what I've felt. I know that I am a mother and that just because my body wouldn't survive another birth doesn't mean I won't have more children.
There is hope. And we've promised to comfort those that stand in need of comfort and cloth the naked and care for the poor, widows and orphans, or those with really sucky biological parents. We promised to do that. And we will. For now we wait. We plan Christmas and camping trips and next summers vacation and baseball and track and theatre. And I continue to get my house in order and my life and maybe continue to look into going back to school for my Masters. We'll see. :)
*******The above entry was written in late fall 2012. On Christmas eve (2012) we received a letter that these 4 kids were going to a different family, a family with no children in the home. We were sad, but kept it in perspective. Since then, things have been utterly turned upside down. - more on that later. :)*********
The on purpose accidental survivalist
I've always thought I'd make a good pioneer. I've stored food, I can garden, I love camping & "roughing it." I could survive if I had to. Until this week. When the well pump stopped working. And we had no water for 72 hours.
But you have a pool - with 30,000 gallons of water. Whats the big deal? Lugging buckets to the toilets to flush is one thing. Inconvenient only. But the pool water is chemicaled to death to keep the water clean enough to swim in. This chemically charged water would bleach out my clothes, so I can't use it for washing. It would kill every single plant in my garden, so I can't use it for that. I could boil it and possibly wash my dishes in it, but I'm not so sure I would. I definitely would NOT drink it or use it in cooking. I could use it to clean tables, counters, walls, floors, etc. but everything would smell like bleach. I wouldn't use it to shower in for long because my skin get really dried out from the chemicals, so showering usage needs a different option. AND this is all banking that I have no household water in the summer, as the pool would be Frozen in the winter. AND that I have electricity to keep the water flowing in the pool so it'll stay "clean". AND banking on all the pool equipment working. That's a lot of 'if's'.
Suffice it to say - I need better water storage! So, we'll still have the pool water as back up, but now we're going to use the gutters to help collect rain water for the yard and garden. We'll get large storage water for washing, cooking and cleaning and smaller containers for drinking. Oh and when they say you'll need a gallon drinking water and a gallon "other" water per person per day, they were calculating on the extreme scale. Reality - you need a gallon for drinking, a gallon for cooking, a gallon for washing/cleaning, a gallon for sponge baths (more if you have really long hair), and a gallon for misc. About 5 gallons/person/day. You can get by with less IF it rains AND you can collect the rain water. IF.
Other things I learned this week. My kids will have no more than 3 outfits. 1 for church and 2 for everyday. And they will wear them will they're grimy. Because hand washing laundry is the pits and less is more.
We used more paper towels than I thought possible. Because I didn't want to waist the precious little water I had on wiping up a spill. Use a paper towel instead. I went through a roll a day. I need to store more paper towels.
A generator will help with electricity, but when you have no water because the pump is broken, your just out of luck.
It's easy to forget about the little things because they're little. Until you have no water. "Mom I can't make pancakes, we have no water. - Oh, use a water bottle." "Mom the dog/cat are out of water. - Crap, use another water bottle." Those water bottle become a high commodity! And then the awful thought comes into your head - hmmm maybe we don't need the dog/cat/gerbil/Pet! Then you feel guilty for thinking that your kids pet is expendable on some level and thank goodness the well repairmen are in the front yard right now!
When you have to boil water to wash the dishes, you rely on a tiny bit of bleach to sanitize the final rinse. I'm going to have to store more bleach. I'm not a germ-a-phobic, but I just saw what kind of water that dish just came out of and I at least want to know that the bleach it helping me out on some level.
Bottom line - store more water than you think you'll need. Utilize nature and don't rely on the use of your pool. Store more paper towels & bleach and use less clothing. And thank Heavenly Father you live in the convince of this century and your not a pioneer!
But you have a pool - with 30,000 gallons of water. Whats the big deal? Lugging buckets to the toilets to flush is one thing. Inconvenient only. But the pool water is chemicaled to death to keep the water clean enough to swim in. This chemically charged water would bleach out my clothes, so I can't use it for washing. It would kill every single plant in my garden, so I can't use it for that. I could boil it and possibly wash my dishes in it, but I'm not so sure I would. I definitely would NOT drink it or use it in cooking. I could use it to clean tables, counters, walls, floors, etc. but everything would smell like bleach. I wouldn't use it to shower in for long because my skin get really dried out from the chemicals, so showering usage needs a different option. AND this is all banking that I have no household water in the summer, as the pool would be Frozen in the winter. AND that I have electricity to keep the water flowing in the pool so it'll stay "clean". AND banking on all the pool equipment working. That's a lot of 'if's'.
Suffice it to say - I need better water storage! So, we'll still have the pool water as back up, but now we're going to use the gutters to help collect rain water for the yard and garden. We'll get large storage water for washing, cooking and cleaning and smaller containers for drinking. Oh and when they say you'll need a gallon drinking water and a gallon "other" water per person per day, they were calculating on the extreme scale. Reality - you need a gallon for drinking, a gallon for cooking, a gallon for washing/cleaning, a gallon for sponge baths (more if you have really long hair), and a gallon for misc. About 5 gallons/person/day. You can get by with less IF it rains AND you can collect the rain water. IF.
Other things I learned this week. My kids will have no more than 3 outfits. 1 for church and 2 for everyday. And they will wear them will they're grimy. Because hand washing laundry is the pits and less is more.
We used more paper towels than I thought possible. Because I didn't want to waist the precious little water I had on wiping up a spill. Use a paper towel instead. I went through a roll a day. I need to store more paper towels.
A generator will help with electricity, but when you have no water because the pump is broken, your just out of luck.
It's easy to forget about the little things because they're little. Until you have no water. "Mom I can't make pancakes, we have no water. - Oh, use a water bottle." "Mom the dog/cat are out of water. - Crap, use another water bottle." Those water bottle become a high commodity! And then the awful thought comes into your head - hmmm maybe we don't need the dog/cat/gerbil/Pet! Then you feel guilty for thinking that your kids pet is expendable on some level and thank goodness the well repairmen are in the front yard right now!
When you have to boil water to wash the dishes, you rely on a tiny bit of bleach to sanitize the final rinse. I'm going to have to store more bleach. I'm not a germ-a-phobic, but I just saw what kind of water that dish just came out of and I at least want to know that the bleach it helping me out on some level.
Bottom line - store more water than you think you'll need. Utilize nature and don't rely on the use of your pool. Store more paper towels & bleach and use less clothing. And thank Heavenly Father you live in the convince of this century and your not a pioneer!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Adoption Journey - Part 9 - Match Events
Yes, yes, the title says it all - Match Events. And yes, it is what you are thinking. :D But it's all good!
Basically, the SNAP specialists (there are 7 or 8 in Indiana) organize match events every few months. A match event is where prospective parents (parents only - no kids from home) get together with kids ages 10 and up who are free for adoption and they play games for a few hours. It gives everyone a chance to get to know each other.
When we first heard about these events, we thought we didn't need to go. We had the online kids that we were looking at, emails that came in from our specialist and a list of kids that we wanted to adopt. Why go meet kids we weren't looking at? Then our specialist said the magic words - it's not always about meeting the kids. It's also for meeting the specialists (adoption advocates, SNAP specialists, case managers, etc.) and other parents. The purpose was to network.
December 2012 was the first one we decided to go to. It was in Ft. Wayne (only an hour away - instead of 3 hours away like some of the others) and it was on a Saturday (instead of a weekday). We had NO clue what to expect. We weren't even sure we really wanted to go. But we'd said yes, and we wanted to show our specialist that we could keep our commitments.
They held the event in a Nature Center. It was a cool place. We could chat some with the kids while looking at the displays, but the activities were directed in one big room. All the parents were gathered in (about 30 of us - All at our first match event) and given a "briefing." We were told to have fun playing with the kids and to NOT talk about adoption. Then they brought in the kids - there were 10 of them ranging in age from 9 to "18". (I'll explain the "" later.)
The first activity was a mixer game. A box was passed around while music played. When the music stopped, whoever was holding the box had to draw out a paper and do what it said. Most things were questions - favorite TV show, type of music, something unique about yourself. Other questions were harder - name all 12 days of Christmas in order, sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" while doing jumping jacks, etc. It got the group laughing and clapping and got some of the nerves out.
Next up was a Ginger Bread house relay. The kids were divided first, then the parents were divided gym style (1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.) Scott and I were on different teams, which made getting to know the kids easier actually. I was paired up with a 14 yo boy and another dad and Scott has an 18 yo boy and another mom. We talked and built and decorated and ate and laughed. It was a fun!
Then all the kids were moved over to tables set up with canvases and paints. Parents were to help or talk to the kids while they painted a picture. Some kids really got into it. Others didn't really know what to do. I sat down with a different 14 yo boy and Scott sat with a 13 yo boy. (There were a lot of boys at the event - actually there were only 3 girls). We chatted and painted and chatted some more. Most of the parents kind of stuck to one table and talked amongst themselves and with the kids. It was great getting to know some of these parents.
The kiddo I was sitting across from mentioned 3 times how badly he wanted to be adopted. 3 times! Now, two thoughts run through your mind: #1 That's so sad - I'll take you! #2 - You are totally playing me kid! I took it with a grain of salt. I knew he wanted to be adopted. I also knew he really didn't know the full extent of what that meant. All of us have dreams of what we want. Sometimes the reality doesn't always add up to our expectations.
When we were finished painting, we ate lunch. I walked through the line with a 9 yo girl who talked a mile a minute. What a chatter box! As we waited, I asked her what types of things she like - TV shows, movies, toys. We started talking about movies - Barbie movies. I asked her her fav and she said "The mermaid one." I said, "Mermaidia?" Her eyes got big, "Yeah!" "Yeah, I like that one to, but there are others I like better." Then I rattled off the list of Barbie movies we owned. If you've never gotten to see one, I'd start with Rapunzel and go from there. They really are good movies. This little gal was shocked that I had all the movies -(really helps to have a daughter who was into them!) It was funny to see this girls face! She started jumping up and down and talking even faster.
We ate lunch with her and another 14yo boy. He didn't talk much and we found out that his favorite activity was bored games. Cool!
Pictionary was last. The kids mainly got to draw, with us guessing what Christmas song they were drawing. It was an easy game with everyone winning. Scott and I both got to chat with most of the kids in the room and a lot of the parents.
When the activities were over, we sat with another couple and were able to ask our SNAP specialist questions. And boy was that informative!! We'd been looking at online profiles for years. And these profiles end up in their "picture books" that are sent to prospective parents. There are around 100 online profiles - give or take. (There are over 9,000 in the foster system in Indiana alone!) What the flip people - get you lives together! That's too many children in the system. We got to talk to another couple and an adoption specialist, too.
The event overall was a positive one. I'd go again. It REALLY helped to meet these kids and talk to them. Oh, I almost forgot....the "18" year old who made a ginger bread house with Scott talked and talked about sports and his favorite subject was math, and his was in ROTC and was going to graduate and join the military and on and on and on and on. We watched him for the rest of the event, debating how much of what he said was true. THEN we went home and read his online profile. 18.....nope - he's 16, a sophomore and while he loves sports, isn't as well rounded as he claimed to be. So yes, we got the "standard-answer-that-all-prospective-parents-want-to-hear" responses to our questions. We also got some "shock value" as well - like the kid who said he'd punched his mom on Christmas because he was so excited about his present. uh huh. Sure you did. Well, maybe you did. :/ Or the kid who said he wanted to grow up and be a "contract killer". What the....?!?! But overall - it was a good experience!
So - networking is good. Meeting kids is good. Getting a better idea of what your up against is great. Go for it. You'll have fun! And remember - take every word our of their mouths with a grain of salt - and a little spice thrown in for good measure. ;)
Basically, the SNAP specialists (there are 7 or 8 in Indiana) organize match events every few months. A match event is where prospective parents (parents only - no kids from home) get together with kids ages 10 and up who are free for adoption and they play games for a few hours. It gives everyone a chance to get to know each other.
When we first heard about these events, we thought we didn't need to go. We had the online kids that we were looking at, emails that came in from our specialist and a list of kids that we wanted to adopt. Why go meet kids we weren't looking at? Then our specialist said the magic words - it's not always about meeting the kids. It's also for meeting the specialists (adoption advocates, SNAP specialists, case managers, etc.) and other parents. The purpose was to network.
December 2012 was the first one we decided to go to. It was in Ft. Wayne (only an hour away - instead of 3 hours away like some of the others) and it was on a Saturday (instead of a weekday). We had NO clue what to expect. We weren't even sure we really wanted to go. But we'd said yes, and we wanted to show our specialist that we could keep our commitments.
They held the event in a Nature Center. It was a cool place. We could chat some with the kids while looking at the displays, but the activities were directed in one big room. All the parents were gathered in (about 30 of us - All at our first match event) and given a "briefing." We were told to have fun playing with the kids and to NOT talk about adoption. Then they brought in the kids - there were 10 of them ranging in age from 9 to "18". (I'll explain the "" later.)
The first activity was a mixer game. A box was passed around while music played. When the music stopped, whoever was holding the box had to draw out a paper and do what it said. Most things were questions - favorite TV show, type of music, something unique about yourself. Other questions were harder - name all 12 days of Christmas in order, sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" while doing jumping jacks, etc. It got the group laughing and clapping and got some of the nerves out.
Next up was a Ginger Bread house relay. The kids were divided first, then the parents were divided gym style (1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.) Scott and I were on different teams, which made getting to know the kids easier actually. I was paired up with a 14 yo boy and another dad and Scott has an 18 yo boy and another mom. We talked and built and decorated and ate and laughed. It was a fun!
Then all the kids were moved over to tables set up with canvases and paints. Parents were to help or talk to the kids while they painted a picture. Some kids really got into it. Others didn't really know what to do. I sat down with a different 14 yo boy and Scott sat with a 13 yo boy. (There were a lot of boys at the event - actually there were only 3 girls). We chatted and painted and chatted some more. Most of the parents kind of stuck to one table and talked amongst themselves and with the kids. It was great getting to know some of these parents.
The kiddo I was sitting across from mentioned 3 times how badly he wanted to be adopted. 3 times! Now, two thoughts run through your mind: #1 That's so sad - I'll take you! #2 - You are totally playing me kid! I took it with a grain of salt. I knew he wanted to be adopted. I also knew he really didn't know the full extent of what that meant. All of us have dreams of what we want. Sometimes the reality doesn't always add up to our expectations.
When we were finished painting, we ate lunch. I walked through the line with a 9 yo girl who talked a mile a minute. What a chatter box! As we waited, I asked her what types of things she like - TV shows, movies, toys. We started talking about movies - Barbie movies. I asked her her fav and she said "The mermaid one." I said, "Mermaidia?" Her eyes got big, "Yeah!" "Yeah, I like that one to, but there are others I like better." Then I rattled off the list of Barbie movies we owned. If you've never gotten to see one, I'd start with Rapunzel and go from there. They really are good movies. This little gal was shocked that I had all the movies -(really helps to have a daughter who was into them!) It was funny to see this girls face! She started jumping up and down and talking even faster.
We ate lunch with her and another 14yo boy. He didn't talk much and we found out that his favorite activity was bored games. Cool!
Pictionary was last. The kids mainly got to draw, with us guessing what Christmas song they were drawing. It was an easy game with everyone winning. Scott and I both got to chat with most of the kids in the room and a lot of the parents.
When the activities were over, we sat with another couple and were able to ask our SNAP specialist questions. And boy was that informative!! We'd been looking at online profiles for years. And these profiles end up in their "picture books" that are sent to prospective parents. There are around 100 online profiles - give or take. (There are over 9,000 in the foster system in Indiana alone!) What the flip people - get you lives together! That's too many children in the system. We got to talk to another couple and an adoption specialist, too.
The event overall was a positive one. I'd go again. It REALLY helped to meet these kids and talk to them. Oh, I almost forgot....the "18" year old who made a ginger bread house with Scott talked and talked about sports and his favorite subject was math, and his was in ROTC and was going to graduate and join the military and on and on and on and on. We watched him for the rest of the event, debating how much of what he said was true. THEN we went home and read his online profile. 18.....nope - he's 16, a sophomore and while he loves sports, isn't as well rounded as he claimed to be. So yes, we got the "standard-answer-that-all-prospective-parents-want-to-hear" responses to our questions. We also got some "shock value" as well - like the kid who said he'd punched his mom on Christmas because he was so excited about his present. uh huh. Sure you did. Well, maybe you did. :/ Or the kid who said he wanted to grow up and be a "contract killer". What the....?!?! But overall - it was a good experience!
So - networking is good. Meeting kids is good. Getting a better idea of what your up against is great. Go for it. You'll have fun! And remember - take every word our of their mouths with a grain of salt - and a little spice thrown in for good measure. ;)
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